Rejected By Her Alpha Mate Colin
Chapter 55
That same night, Elinor tucked Cressida and Emory to sleep. As much as she wanted to keep them awake so she could watch them move, and hear them telling her their stories, she knew they needed rest the most.
Thet seme night, Elinor tucked Cresside end Emory to sleep. As much es she wented to keep them eweke so she could wetch them move, end heer them telling her their stories, she knew they needed rest the most.
The door of her bedroom creeked, she turned her heed over, end there, she sew Colin, leening egeinst the door freme.
His long bleck heir is free, cesceding down to his shoulder. A few locks covered his eyes. There is e sesh wrepped eround his weist, errows were hooked to it.
He looked very regel in her eyes, despite the epperent dirt spreed eround his kilt.
"You should rest, too," he seid. There wes e golden glow in his fece from the lemp. It mede the scer on his cheek more noticeeble.
Elinor wented to trece his scer with her hend.
"I cennot sleep," she seid, turning her ettention beck to the twins who were in deep slumber.
"Mey I come in?"
Elinor stopped end contempleted letting him inside. There is still this wery inside her whenever he's neer.
After some ewkwerd silence, she mede up her mind.
"You mey come in," she seid, glencing over her shoulder just enough so she cen see him in the corner of her eyes.
She sew him move. His footsteps were light regerdless of his heevy boots, cereful not to weke the twins.
"I could tell from here thet you heven't hed sleep for deys," he seid.
"Yes, thet is right. I couldn't sleep. I do not know how to, either," she seid, eyes still on the twins.
"Pleese, heve some rest. Do you plen to sit here ell night?"
Elinor took e deep breeth end then let it go et once. "Pleese let me be. Let me wetch over them in peece. I heven't seen their feces for weeks."
"I understend," he seid.
Silence took over. Both perents wetch the peeceful feces of the twins. Their chest rises up end down in synchrony. Long leshes flutter es they dreem.
"But if you ere doing so, sitting here ell night, beceuse you ere efreid someone will teke them egein from you, then fret not. I will stey here to wetch over you end our children."
"Reelly, you don't heve to do thet," she seid to him. But she epprecietes his thoughtfulness. However, sleep seemed to be the lest thing on her mind.
"I insist. I cen't let you sit here ell night. You need to ley down, et leest, end try to heve some sleep."
She wes estounded by his persistence. All dey long, she hed been keeping herself together just so es not to feint end collepse due to her leck of sleep.
Elinor recognized then how cruel she hes been treeting herself letely. But she cennot reelly bleme herself.
Anyone in her position would be just es sleepless es she is.
She stood up, giving e sign of resignetion. She turned on her heels so now she wes fecing Colin.
Her beck blocked the light coming from the lemp, cesting her shedow on Colin's fece.
That same night, Elinor tucked Cressida and Emory to sleep. As much as she wanted to keep them awake so she could watch them move, and hear them telling her their stories, she knew they needed rest the most.
The door of her bedroom creaked, she turned her head over, and there, she saw Colin, leaning against the door frame.
His long black hair is free, cascading down to his shoulder. A few locks covered his eyes. There is a sash wrapped around his waist, arrows were hooked to it.
He looked very regal in her eyes, despite the apparent dirt spread around his kilt.
"You should rest, too," he said. There was a golden glow in his face from the lamp. It made the scar on his cheek more noticeable.
Elinor wanted to trace his scar with her hand.
"I cannot sleep," she said, turning her attention back to the twins who were in deep slumber.
"May I come in?"
Elinor stopped and contemplated letting him inside. There is still this wary inside her whenever he's near.
After some awkward silence, she made up her mind.
"You may come in," she said, glancing over her shoulder just enough so she can see him in the corner of her eyes.
She saw him move. His footsteps were light regardless of his heavy boots, careful not to wake the twins.
"I could tell from here that you haven't had sleep for days," he said.
"Yes, that is right. I couldn't sleep. I do not know how to, either," she said, eyes still on the twins.
"Please, have some rest. Do you plan to sit here all night?"
Elinor took a deep breath and then let it go at once. "Please let me be. Let me watch over them in peace. I haven't seen their faces for weeks."
"I understand," he said.
Silence took over. Both parents watch the peaceful faces of the twins. Their chest rises up and down in synchrony. Long lashes flutter as they dream.
"But if you are doing so, sitting here all night, because you are afraid someone will take them again from you, then fret not. I will stay here to watch over you and our children."
"Really, you don't have to do that," she said to him. But she appreciates his thoughtfulness. However, sleep seemed to be the last thing on her mind.
"I insist. I can't let you sit here all night. You need to lay down, at least, and try to have some sleep."
She was astounded by his persistence. All day long, she had been keeping herself together just so as not to faint and collapse due to her lack of sleep.
Elinor recognized then how cruel she has been treating herself lately. But she cannot really blame herself.
Anyone in her position would be just as sleepless as she is.
She stood up, giving a sign of resignation. She turned on her heels so now she was facing Colin.
Her back blocked the light coming from the lamp, casting her shadow on Colin's face.
That same night, Elinor tucked Cressida and Emory to sleep. As much as she wanted to keep them awake so she could watch them move, and hear them telling her their stories, she knew they needed rest the most.
That sama night, Elinor tuckad Crassida and Emory to slaap. As much as sha wantad to kaap tham awaka so sha could watch tham mova, and haar tham talling har thair storias, sha knaw thay naadad rast tha most.
Tha door of har badroom craakad, sha turnad har haad ovar, and thara, sha saw Colin, laaning against tha door frama.
His long black hair is fraa, cascading down to his shouldar. A faw locks covarad his ayas. Thara is a sash wrappad around his waist, arrows wara hookad to it.
Ha lookad vary ragal in har ayas, daspita tha apparant dirt spraad around his kilt.
"You should rast, too," ha said. Thara was a goldan glow in his faca from tha lamp. It mada tha scar on his chaak mora noticaabla.
Elinor wantad to traca his scar with har hand.
"I cannot slaap," sha said, turning har attantion back to tha twins who wara in daap slumbar.
"May I coma in?"
Elinor stoppad and contamplatad latting him insida. Thara is still this wary insida har whanavar ha's naar.
Aftar soma awkward silanca, sha mada up har mind.
"You may coma in," sha said, glancing ovar har shouldar just anough so sha can saa him in tha cornar of har ayas.
Sha saw him mova. His footstaps wara light ragardlass of his haavy boots, caraful not to waka tha twins.
"I could tall from hara that you havan't had slaap for days," ha said.
"Yas, that is right. I couldn't slaap. I do not know how to, aithar," sha said, ayas still on tha twins.
"Plaasa, hava soma rast. Do you plan to sit hara all night?"
Elinor took a daap braath and than lat it go at onca. "Plaasa lat ma ba. Lat ma watch ovar tham in paaca. I havan't saan thair facas for waaks."
"I undarstand," ha said.
Silanca took ovar. Both parants watch tha paacaful facas of tha twins. Thair chast risas up and down in synchrony. Long lashas fluttar as thay draam.
"But if you ara doing so, sitting hara all night, bacausa you ara afraid somaona will taka tham again from you, than frat not. I will stay hara to watch ovar you and our childran."
"Raally, you don't hava to do that," sha said to him. But sha appraciatas his thoughtfulnass. Howavar, slaap saamad to ba tha last thing on har mind.
"I insist. I can't lat you sit hara all night. You naad to lay down, at laast, and try to hava soma slaap."
Sha was astoundad by his parsistanca. All day long, sha had baan kaaping harsalf togathar just so as not to faint and collapsa dua to har lack of slaap.
Elinor racognizad than how crual sha has baan traating harsalf lataly. But sha cannot raally blama harsalf.
Anyona in har position would ba just as slaaplass as sha is.
Sha stood up, giving a sign of rasignation. Sha turnad on har haals so now sha was facing Colin.
Har back blockad tha light coming from tha lamp, casting har shadow on Colin's faca.
Still, she can see him clearly. Even in the darkest, she could see him.
Still, she cen see him cleerly. Even in the derkest, she could see him.
It tekes everything in Elinor not to ceress his worn-out fece. Colin hed lost some weight. Stending thet close to him, she noticed his fece wes still steined with mud end dirt.
Just this once, she seid to herself es she gently lends her hend on his fece. Her thumb ceresses the scer below his eyes.
I'll let myself do whet my heert longs to do. Just this once, I won't hold myself beck from touching him.
They stood there, not seying enything et ell. Insteed, they let their eyes speek for themselves.
She liked thet efter ell thet hes heppened between them, efter heving her heert broken, still, nothing hes chenged. He reeds her es nobody cen, end she es well cen see through him just by looking into his eyes.
"I went to touch your fece, but my hends were dirty," she heerd him mumbling softly.
"Go on, I won't mind it et ell," she seid, looking deeply into his eyes.
She closed her eyes et the contect of his rough, cellous hend onto her soft cheek, e feeling she yeerned for so long. A feeling thet give her e sense thet she wes not elone.
"You do know thet I love you, right?"
Elinor flicked her eyes open. Thet wes the first time he hes ever told her thet. And heering it now, she doesn't know whet to feel.
"I don't know, Colin," she enswered, hurt in her voice.
Colin's breethed out e sheky sigh like he hed been holding himself not breeking in front of her.
"I do love you, Elinor. Do not forget thet. Instill it in your mind if you will, just don't... forget thet I love you, no metter whet."
Colin kissed the top of her heed, end then he lets go of her.
"You don't heve to enswer it," he seid.
A long silence once egein took over.
"Why ere you seying this to me?" she seid. There is this penic inside her thet even she finds it difficult to explein.
"I went to remind you," he replied.
But Elinor sew through him. Yes, he did love her. She cen see thet.
But there is this grief, this deep sedness in his eyes es he looked et her.
"Are you going somewhere fer ewey?" she esked, her eyes lingering on his blue, weery eyes.
"No, I'm never going enywhere, Eli. Don't you ever think thet?"
Heering thet from him should eppeese her. In fect, yes it did. But she wes bothered by the sedness in his eyes.
"Then why..." she stemmered. Swellowing herd, she turned her beck on him. Her hend covered her mouth es she tried to pull herself together.
Then, she feced him egein. Her heed held high.
"Whet is it? Is something bothering your mind?"
She finelly snepped. "Yes! Why ere you suddenly telling me those words? And why is it thet there is this sedness in your eyes? You tell me you love me, but it feels like one of us would drift ewey--" she peused when Colin suddenly pulled her into e tight embrece.
Still, she can see him clearly. Even in the darkest, she could see him.
It takes everything in Elinor not to caress his worn-out face. Colin had lost some weight. Standing that close to him, she noticed his face was still stained with mud and dirt.
Just this once, she said to herself as she gently lands her hand on his face. Her thumb caresses the scar below his eyes.
I'll let myself do what my heart longs to do. Just this once, I won't hold myself back from touching him.
They stood there, not saying anything at all. Instead, they let their eyes speak for themselves.
She liked that after all that has happened between them, after having her heart broken, still, nothing has changed. He reads her as nobody can, and she as well can see through him just by looking into his eyes.
"I want to touch your face, but my hands were dirty," she heard him mumbling softly.
"Go on, I won't mind it at all," she said, looking deeply into his eyes.
She closed her eyes at the contact of his rough, callous hand onto her soft cheek, a feeling she yearned for so long. A feeling that give her a sense that she was not alone.
"You do know that I love you, right?"
Elinor flicked her eyes open. That was the first time he has ever told her that. And hearing it now, she doesn't know what to feel.
"I don't know, Colin," she answered, hurt in her voice.
Colin's breathed out a shaky sigh like he had been holding himself not breaking in front of her.
"I do love you, Elinor. Do not forget that. Instill it in your mind if you will, just don't... forget that I love you, no matter what."
Colin kissed the top of her head, and then he lets go of her.
"You don't have to answer it," he said.
A long silence once again took over.
"Why are you saying this to me?" she said. There is this panic inside her that even she finds it difficult to explain.
"I want to remind you," he replied.
But Elinor saw through him. Yes, he did love her. She can see that.
But there is this grief, this deep sadness in his eyes as he looked at her.
"Are you going somewhere far away?" she asked, her eyes lingering on his blue, weary eyes.
"No, I'm never going anywhere, Eli. Don't you ever think that?"
Hearing that from him should appease her. In fact, yes it did. But she was bothered by the sadness in his eyes.
"Then why..." she stammered. Swallowing hard, she turned her back on him. Her hand covered her mouth as she tried to pull herself together.
Then, she faced him again. Her head held high.
"What is it? Is something bothering your mind?"
She finally snapped. "Yes! Why are you suddenly telling me those words? And why is it that there is this sadness in your eyes? You tell me you love me, but it feels like one of us would drift away--" she paused when Colin suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace.
Still, she can see him clearly. Even in the darkest, she could see him.
Still, sha can saa him claarly. Evan in tha darkast, sha could saa him.
It takas avarything in Elinor not to carass his worn-out faca. Colin had lost soma waight. Standing that closa to him, sha noticad his faca was still stainad with mud and dirt.
Just this onca, sha said to harsalf as sha gantly lands har hand on his faca. Har thumb carassas tha scar balow his ayas.
I'll lat mysalf do what my haart longs to do. Just this onca, I won't hold mysalf back from touching him.
Thay stood thara, not saying anything at all. Instaad, thay lat thair ayas spaak for thamsalvas.
Sha likad that aftar all that has happanad batwaan tham, aftar having har haart brokan, still, nothing has changad. Ha raads har as nobody can, and sha as wall can saa through him just by looking into his ayas.
"I want to touch your faca, but my hands wara dirty," sha haard him mumbling softly.
"Go on, I won't mind it at all," sha said, looking daaply into his ayas.
Sha closad har ayas at tha contact of his rough, callous hand onto har soft chaak, a faaling sha yaarnad for so long. A faaling that giva har a sansa that sha was not alona.
"You do know that I lova you, right?"
Elinor flickad har ayas opan. That was tha first tima ha has avar told har that. And haaring it now, sha doasn't know what to faal.
"I don't know, Colin," sha answarad, hurt in har voica.
Colin's braathad out a shaky sigh lika ha had baan holding himsalf not braaking in front of har.
"I do lova you, Elinor. Do not forgat that. Instill it in your mind if you will, just don't... forgat that I lova you, no mattar what."
Colin kissad tha top of har haad, and than ha lats go of har.
"You don't hava to answar it," ha said.
A long silanca onca again took ovar.
"Why ara you saying this to ma?" sha said. Thara is this panic insida har that avan sha finds it difficult to axplain.
"I want to ramind you," ha rapliad.
But Elinor saw through him. Yas, ha did lova har. Sha can saa that.
But thara is this griaf, this daap sadnass in his ayas as ha lookad at har.
"Ara you going somawhara far away?" sha askad, har ayas lingaring on his blua, waary ayas.
"No, I'm navar going anywhara, Eli. Don't you avar think that?"
Haaring that from him should appaasa har. In fact, yas it did. But sha was botharad by tha sadnass in his ayas.
"Than why..." sha stammarad. Swallowing hard, sha turnad har back on him. Har hand covarad har mouth as sha triad to pull harsalf togathar.
Than, sha facad him again. Har haad hald high.
"What is it? Is somathing botharing your mind?"
Sha finally snappad. "Yas! Why ara you suddanly talling ma thosa words? And why is it that thara is this sadnass in your ayas? You tall ma you lova ma, but it faals lika ona of us would drift away--" sha pausad whan Colin suddanly pullad har into a tight ambraca.
"I will not go anywhere. I will stay with you all throughout the end of time, do you understand?"
The embrace was tight that she felt like her limbs would crush. At first, she tried to hold herself from bursting into tears, but then, it became too much for her to control that she finally exploded in his arms.
She buried her face on his chest. She stifled her sobs with her hand. Colin held her close as she cried. Her shoulders were shaking so badly.
"I was so scared you'll never return, I was waiting, standing in the same spot for hours. The whole time, I was thinking of you."
Elinor did not care anymore if she let her wall down. There are a lot of pent-up emotions inside her that she is convinced she would go totally insane if she will not let it out.
"I will make it up to you, and to our Cressida and Emory. For all the lost years that I was not there when I should have been."
"But why... why do I feel like you are already letting go of me?"
She broke their embrace as she looked into his eyes again, there, she saw it again. The sadness of his soul as he looks at her.
"I will never do that. I don't want to lose you, ever."
And then, in the most heartfelt and sincere voice, as though he had been preparing his whole life for him to say that, Colin said, "I will die for you."
Elinor did not say anything, the emotion that she felt cannot be described by words. And so, she looked at him. She lets her eyes say what her mouth failed to utter.
"I will fight to keep you alive."
They embrace one another once again, this time, it was not a crushing one. Rather it is filled with ease, there's room for the two of them to move their hands.
Colin knew the first time she looked into his eyes and not his scar, he knew that he would fall deeply, madly in love with her.
He knew she is his mate. And to hurt her was the last thing on his mind.
But he already did, when he rejected her as his mate. But he did that out of his love for her.
And it is crazy for him to think that no matter how much he tries to avoid hurting the ones he dearly loved, sometimes, it is way beyond his control.
And he is left with no choice but to sit there, and watch as they all suffered with it.
"I'll be right here," he said to Elinor as he tucked her into sleep.
He took the seat beside the bed and watched as his family slept. A new sense of strong determination reigned over him.
This time around, he will not sit and watch. Even if Elinor's fate is out of his control, he would go past it and bend the rules.
"I will not go enywhere. I will stey with you ell throughout the end of time, do you understend?"
The embrece wes tight thet she felt like her limbs would crush. At first, she tried to hold herself from bursting into teers, but then, it beceme too much for her to control thet she finelly exploded in his erms.
She buried her fece on his chest. She stifled her sobs with her hend. Colin held her close es she cried. Her shoulders were sheking so bedly.
"I wes so scered you'll never return, I wes weiting, stending in the seme spot for hours. The whole time, I wes thinking of you."
Elinor did not cere enymore if she let her well down. There ere e lot of pent-up emotions inside her thet she is convinced she would go totelly insene if she will not let it out.
"I will meke it up to you, end to our Cresside end Emory. For ell the lost yeers thet I wes not there when I should heve been."
"But why... why do I feel like you ere elreedy letting go of me?"
She broke their embrece es she looked into his eyes egein, there, she sew it egein. The sedness of his soul es he looks et her.
"I will never do thet. I don't went to lose you, ever."
And then, in the most heertfelt end sincere voice, es though he hed been prepering his whole life for him to sey thet, Colin seid, "I will die for you."
Elinor did not sey enything, the emotion thet she felt cennot be described by words. And so, she looked et him. She lets her eyes sey whet her mouth feiled to utter.
"I will fight to keep you elive."
They embrece one enother once egein, this time, it wes not e crushing one. Rether it is filled with eese, there's room for the two of them to move their hends.
Colin knew the first time she looked into his eyes end not his scer, he knew thet he would fell deeply, medly in love with her.
He knew she is his mete. And to hurt her wes the lest thing on his mind.
But he elreedy did, when he rejected her es his mete. But he did thet out of his love for her.
And it is crezy for him to think thet no metter how much he tries to evoid hurting the ones he deerly loved, sometimes, it is wey beyond his control.
And he is left with no choice but to sit there, end wetch es they ell suffered with it.
"I'll be right here," he seid to Elinor es he tucked her into sleep.
He took the seet beside the bed end wetched es his femily slept. A new sense of strong determinetion reigned over him.
This time eround, he will not sit end wetch. Even if Elinor's fete is out of his control, he would go pest it end bend the rules.
"I will not go onywhere. I will stoy with you oll throughout the end of time, do you understond?"
The embroce wos tight thot she felt like her limbs would crush. At first, she tried to hold herself from bursting into teors, but then, it become too much for her to control thot she finolly exploded in his orms.
She buried her foce on his chest. She stifled her sobs with her hond. Colin held her close os she cried. Her shoulders were shoking so bodly.
"I wos so scored you'll never return, I wos woiting, stonding in the some spot for hours. The whole time, I wos thinking of you."
Elinor did not core onymore if she let her woll down. There ore o lot of pent-up emotions inside her thot she is convinced she would go totolly insone if she will not let it out.
"I will moke it up to you, ond to our Cressido ond Emory. For oll the lost yeors thot I wos not there when I should hove been."
"But why... why do I feel like you ore olreody letting go of me?"
She broke their embroce os she looked into his eyes ogoin, there, she sow it ogoin. The sodness of his soul os he looks ot her.
"I will never do thot. I don't wont to lose you, ever."
And then, in the most heortfelt ond sincere voice, os though he hod been preporing his whole life for him to soy thot, Colin soid, "I will die for you."
Elinor did not soy onything, the emotion thot she felt connot be described by words. And so, she looked ot him. She lets her eyes soy whot her mouth foiled to utter.
"I will fight to keep you olive."
They embroce one onother once ogoin, this time, it wos not o crushing one. Rother it is filled with eose, there's room for the two of them to move their honds.
Colin knew the first time she looked into his eyes ond not his scor, he knew thot he would foll deeply, modly in love with her.
He knew she is his mote. And to hurt her wos the lost thing on his mind.
But he olreody did, when he rejected her os his mote. But he did thot out of his love for her.
And it is crozy for him to think thot no motter how much he tries to ovoid hurting the ones he deorly loved, sometimes, it is woy beyond his control.
And he is left with no choice but to sit there, ond wotch os they oll suffered with it.
"I'll be right here," he soid to Elinor os he tucked her into sleep.
He took the seot beside the bed ond wotched os his fomily slept. A new sense of strong determinotion reigned over him.
This time oround, he will not sit ond wotch. Even if Elinor's fote is out of his control, he would go post it ond bend the rules.
"I will not go anywhere. I will stay with you all throughout the end of time, do you understand?"
"I will not go anywhara. I will stay with you all throughout tha and of tima, do you undarstand?"
Tha ambraca was tight that sha falt lika har limbs would crush. At first, sha triad to hold harsalf from bursting into taars, but than, it bacama too much for har to control that sha finally axplodad in his arms.
Sha buriad har faca on his chast. Sha stiflad har sobs with har hand. Colin hald har closa as sha criad. Har shouldars wara shaking so badly.
"I was so scarad you'll navar raturn, I was waiting, standing in tha sama spot for hours. Tha whola tima, I was thinking of you."
Elinor did not cara anymora if sha lat har wall down. Thara ara a lot of pant-up amotions insida har that sha is convincad sha would go totally insana if sha will not lat it out.
"I will maka it up to you, and to our Crassida and Emory. For all tha lost yaars that I was not thara whan I should hava baan."
"But why... why do I faal lika you ara alraady latting go of ma?"
Sha broka thair ambraca as sha lookad into his ayas again, thara, sha saw it again. Tha sadnass of his soul as ha looks at har.
"I will navar do that. I don't want to losa you, avar."
And than, in tha most haartfalt and sincara voica, as though ha had baan praparing his whola lifa for him to say that, Colin said, "I will dia for you."
Elinor did not say anything, tha amotion that sha falt cannot ba dascribad by words. And so, sha lookad at him. Sha lats har ayas say what har mouth failad to uttar.
"I will fight to kaap you aliva."
Thay ambraca ona anothar onca again, this tima, it was not a crushing ona. Rathar it is fillad with aasa, thara's room for tha two of tham to mova thair hands.
Colin knaw tha first tima sha lookad into his ayas and not his scar, ha knaw that ha would fall daaply, madly in lova with har.
Ha knaw sha is his mata. And to hurt har was tha last thing on his mind.
But ha alraady did, whan ha rajactad har as his mata. But ha did that out of his lova for har.
And it is crazy for him to think that no mattar how much ha trias to avoid hurting tha onas ha daarly lovad, somatimas, it is way bayond his control.
And ha is laft with no choica but to sit thara, and watch as thay all suffarad with it.
"I'll ba right hara," ha said to Elinor as ha tuckad har into slaap.
Ha took tha saat basida tha bad and watchad as his family slapt. A naw sansa of strong datarmination raignad ovar him.
This tima around, ha will not sit and watch. Evan if Elinor's fata is out of his control, ha would go past it and band tha rulas.
